top of page
  • Writer's pictureShamari

Freedom dreaming

I was sleep the first time it happened. 

I was sleep every time it happened.

Sleep, I was told, was restorative.

Closing my eyes would allow my body to rest.

My mind could stop wandering.

I could be inactive.

I didn’t have to feel.

Just close your eyes, they said.

Close them.

Don’t look.

If ever it becomes too much, just go lie down. Close your eyes.

I closed my eyes.

This seemed better than reality.

More delicious.

More alluring.





No freedom, which I think I loved. I didn’t have to do or decide anything.

I could just go along my role here.

Eventually I stayed asleep.

It attacked.

It kept attacking.

But then I heard them whispering..


First, through my mother

Then, my sister

Then through Toni

I opened my eyes.

I opened my eyes and they stopped.

The whitemares stopped.

I see now.

I feel now.

I freedom dream now.

With my eyes wide open.

65 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

Imagine this. It’s Sunday. Your favorite show comes on every Sunday evening. You’ve cleared your schedule. You got your iced cold sweet tea in hand. The brownies are almost done. You’ve already cooked

A letter to my 10-year old self (click above for audio version) Dear Black boy dreaming, I know that you feel the love of the Black women close to you. They pour it into you daily. Be present with it.

Hi my loves, I need y'all's help. I'm putting together a collective letter to the Black LGBTQ+ community written by the Black LGBTQ+ community. Please help by adding to the letter. You can add as litt

bottom of page